“Wow! God. That is such a good question. It’s funny, it’s irreverent, it’s original. I mean, it’s been literally weeks since someone asked me that. And now I seriously cannot wait to spend the next five to ten minutes engaging in low-level banter with you about the difference between cakes and biscuits. In fact, my hands are physically trembling in anticipation of that bit where you play your trump card and reveal that it’s all down to some piece of VAT legislation regarding chocolate confectionary. Crikey, I feel like I’m living inside the most brilliant instalment of QI ever recorded! Just please tell me you’ve got another stick of small-talk dynamite up your sleeve… What’s that? Now you’re asking me, “OK then, what’s the difference between dwarves and midgets?” Oh, bravo. Just when I thought your ability to stimulate light-hearted, off-the-wall conversation was on the wane, you pull this nugget out of the bag! How do you think of these things? Please, explain to me again about how the difference all comes down to the proportional length of their limbs! How uniquely fascinating! But hang on, before I can even draw breath, your skittish, butterfly mind has already floated away in search of the sweet nectar of fresh insights. Now you’re telling me that the real irony of the Alanis Morissette song ‘Ironic’ is that the lyrics aren’t ironic at all, merely unlucky! I’m reeling! Everything I knew or thought I knew has just been challenged. But yet at the same time I’m also laughing, because this is really funny stuff. Frankly who cares if it’s a piece of old stand-up based on a 15-year-old song — it’s still topical! Yet somehow there’s still more. Because finally you’re going to love me and leave me with a rather cute little rhetorical question, one that puts everything into perspective, albeit in an off-beat kind of way…”
“OK. Get this — so what if the Hokey-Cokey really is what it’s all about?”
“My god. I swear that one gets every better time I hear someone new pass it off as their own.”
Tags: t shirts funny, funny cards, funny english, clean funny, funny comments
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