Remember that time last night? We were on the couch, I was all up on you and you were blissed out from my spaghetti and the sexual release I gave you. You looked into my eyes and we kissed for a long time, and when we broke apart you said, “Jessica, I’m going to buy you a small island.”
No, I didn’t. I said, “I’m going to buy you a … straw hymen”.
You did, you said you’d buy me an island and we’re going to populate it with negro slaves and plant hybrid fruit trees. We’ll live like shipwrecked survivors, only we own the island so it’ll be like a game of pretend where we have sex on the beach all day long and collect coconut-pears, and all the animals on the island will be genetically mutated so they can’t grow up and stay baby animals forever.
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