Gallery Openings
This is the first entry in a new “activities” section on How to Impress a Hipster.
Opening from Michel Gondry’s Science of Sleep exhibitphoto credit: timnyc
Why they’re hipster approved: Attending gallery openings are essential to hipsters. It’s the place they can show off how cool they are to people that already know how cool they are and, if they’re lucky, impress some hipsters from a different clique. Hipsters standing around in galleries can be divided into 4 categories: 1) A viewer/buyer, 2) The artist showing, 3) The curator of that gallery (only for ultra-hipsters), 4) The musician/dj providing the tunes. It is imperative that one looks their best when schmoozing. Hipsters want to know fabulous eccentrics and be seen with important/beautiful people. Who you show up with sends a clear message to other hipsters. Well versed hipsters will attend an opening with a quasi-successful artist that knows the artist showing, one of their well-connected friends that will introduce them to the curator, by themselves to be ultra-mysterious or with a large group of friends that have no connections but look beautiful.
What hipsters won’t admit: 9 times out of 10 the art is lame which means hipsters go to gallery openings to find people that have better plans for the night. They drink free wine, stand around hoping to be noticed and wait for someone to tell them, “We’re going to ____, are you coming?”
How to impress a hipster: Gallery openings are like mini-prom nights for hipsters, so dress to impress. You can take 3 routes. 1) Dress super sharp, like you’re being photographed for a fashion magazine. 2) Dress like a crazy eccentric with loud colors to draw attention to yourself, although you’ll be competing for attention with other needy hipsters. 3) Dress in your bar drinking dirties. This sends a message to other hipsters that you’re on your way to something more interesting that doesn’t require a dress code after you’re done making the token gallery appearance (ironically this usually takes more effort than the other options).
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