There is a political blog I love which does their “Hate Mail” every Saturday. I love the Hate Mail Saturdays as it makes any hate mail I get feel so tame in comparison ( and it is, really). This, however, popped into my inbox a couple days ago, and I felt it was a shame to Not share this unedited, unchanged Love:
IF MEN ARE WOLVES, THEN LADIES STOP BEING LOW SELF-ESTEEMED, LOW STANDARD, FAST AND EASY PICKINGS. SOME OF YOU LOOK LIKE A THREE-LEGGED GAZELLE DIPPED IN MANGO SAUCE, RUNNING ACROSS THE FIELD IN SLOW MOTION. HAVE SOME CLASS AND BECOME A LIONESS! I AIN’T NEVER SEEN NO WOLF GO ANYWHERE NEAR NO LIONESS! Y’ALL NEED TO STOP LETTING LITTLE BOYS LAY UP ON Y’ALL, PLAYING MADDEN AND HOUSE-SITTING ALL DAY. SOME OF YOU WORK SO HARD TO KEEP HIM AT HOME; BUY HIM A CAR IN YOUR NAME, GIVE HIM A CELL PHONE IN YOUR NAME, HE DONT PAY NO BILLS FOR THE HOUSE IN YOUR NAME…DO Y’ALL REALLY BELIEVE THATS WHAT IT TAKES TO KEEP A MAN? SOME OF YOU WOMEN ARE WORST THAN THE OVERBEARING MOTHERS THAT SPOILED HIM AND MADE HIM SORRY IN THE FIRST PLACE! AFTER Y’ALL DONE HAD ENOUGH OF THAT, THEN YOU WANNA PUT ALL MEN IN THE SAME BOAT AND THINK ABOUT CROSSING OVER…IM PRETTY SURE IT WOULD TAKE A WHOLE PACK OF WOLVES TO ATTACK A LIONESS, BUT EVEN IF THAT HAPPENS, THAT LIONESS AIN’T GONNA LOSE HER SEXUALITY! THAS RIGHT, BEING A VICTIM OF THE WRONG KIND OF MEN DOESN’T MAKE IT RIGHT FOR YOU TO JUMP SIDES! LONG STORY SHORT, IF YOU’RE WANDERING AROUND NOT USING YOUR GOD GIVEN INSTINCTS, AIN’T GOT NO PERSONAL GOALS, NO KIND OF CAREER, MAKING BABIES TO PASS THE TIME, AND SITTING AROUND WAITING FOR SOME MAN TO TAKE CARE OF YOU, THEN PREPARE TO BE DEVOURED BY MORE THAN JUST A WOLF! FURTHERMORE, THESE SO CALLED “FEMALE PARTNERS” Y’ALL CALL YOURSELVES TURNING TO, SEE YOU AS AN EASY TARGET AS WELL, I MEAN, WHICH IS WORSE, BEING EATEN ALIVE BY A MALE OR A FEMALE WOLF…IT’S SAD, BUT WHEN U THINK ABOUT IT, U KNOW SOME HEFFAS RIGHT NOW THAT SHOULD BE READING THIS!
Tags: clean funny, funny shirts, funny sayings, funny emails, funny short jokes
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