When People Decide To Get A Divorce

My first marriage lasted for 20 years, 1979-2000. While I thought things were ‘ok’ for most of that time, my wife did not. When the damn finally broke in year 18 and I started to see how she really felt, then, and only then, did I really start to understand her, her depth, her feelings, her reasons, her ‘issues’, etc. I think it was probably a mutual thing. I believe she started to see me and my ‘issues’ more realistically, compassionately and insightfully as well.

We went to marriage communication weekends, counseling, religious retreats and other things. We talked more and listened more than we had throughout our marriage. Obviously all that talking and listening did not cause us to turn around and stay together. But that is not a lesson that teaches ‘Don’t bother trying to understand’. It is a lesson that teaches ‘The effort to understand and really see the other person is of value in and of itself, no matter the outcome of the relationship’.

Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by Helen Rowland, 1876-1950, English-American writer